Work today was really relaxed, especially since I spoke Sister Horrocks out of opening the music room. Took a nap afterwards, work party for Thanksgiving. That's about it.
I also learned today what I learned in part yesterday. I see no reason to not want this. Every time before this that I started to like someone, I have figured out a million different reasons not to get close. I keep searching with her, and since I'll have a new job next semester, there are no other fears. I just want to hold her close.
She went on a date tonight, and all I felt was sadness that it wasn't me with her this evening. Maybe I'll learn to control these feelings. Maybe I'll even get rid of these feelings. I just fear rejection. But, most importantly I fear that I'm at the phase now that I'd rather stop fooling around and figure out where I stood, even if it is on the outside looking in without retribution. The story of my life though: unrequited love affairs.
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