What makes you an alley cat...

Well, scaredy cat is more fitting. It is far too rare that I'm actually happy with any one person. But, more importantly, that when she leaves, that I automatically miss her. Men are that they might have joy, and I'm learning slowly what that means.
The difficulty that is found with these points is that I'm scared to death of making a move too early. I want us to be so much more, but am not at that point now that I want all or nothing.
The second that she leaves, I text her. Why do I do this to myself? She is significantly better than me, is absolutely amazing and yet I do not know what to do about it. Everytime I start to feel something for someone, it is even stronger than the last. I don't know if I could handle anything larger than this, but right now feel like I would be fine if I never have to tackle it again.
This isn't feelings of complacency with a person of the opposite sex. I don't even know what this is, but it is something new.
Maybe reading this is the morning will give me some insights... we'll have to see.