New Years Resolution?

I have listed a few things that I'm resolute to accomplish this coming year on my facebook, but there is one under lying thing that I want to strive towards: I want to be happy. I know, cop out, but I don't care. I want to get back in shape. I want to spiritually be the person everyone thinks I am. But, most importantly, I want to act in a way that I will be happy with myself. No more regrets, so more second guessing.
I need to work-out, budget, and do homework. But, I really need to figure out who I want to be and actually work towards finding someone I want to be with and not just beating my head against brick walls. I instinctually pick people who want nothing to really do with me because then I'm safe from commitment. The problem is that the only happiness I find is in commitment, mainly because it also scares the heck out of me.
"Of all the words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: it might have been." Whittier, I think.
I'm tired of might have beens, I'm tired of being the wimp that I attack everyone else for being. I've learned since getting home that I'm not really scared of anything that could harm me. My only fear involved my inability to assist others. All my fears would culminate into a failed marriage, because I already know that if a marriage fails, it is my fault. I don't mean divorce, I mean a marriage that lacks abounding love. I'm inconsitent and confrontational. I have this belief that arguments are the root of truth, but it just angers those around me.
I think I'm done rambling.

New Years Resolution: Take happiness where I can find it and avoid those things that make me miserable without a hope for joy....